Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. Andy got his little redemption tour thanks to that Super Bowl title. Fuck Kansas City on BOTH sides of the river. The Plaza has turned into a low-rent mall. By the end of the second quarter, the Chiefs had accumulated eight penalties for 95 yards—the most for the team in any first half under Reid. Also as this website is correctly sub-titled “The Obsessive Study of Athletics Aesthetics,” many of the people who follow this website are borderline OCD nutjobs who really do obsess over minor stuff like that. Do the Chiefs care that their fans are hayseeds with terminal perspiration disorder? Somehow there was a worse part to it all, which is that the Chiefs put a welcome mat out for all rona truthers within a 50-mile radius to come to their games. Basically, for the last 10 … What has always sucked: Oh you mean these fans? Let’s take a second to let that sink in. When Mahomes gets hurt for real this time around, your backup is Chad Henne and it’s 2011 all over again. Gas up the car because the stadium is a thousand miles away from the fun part of the city, deep in the MAGAphetamine capital of America. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Defector Freelancer Policies, Created In Partnership With The National Writers Union, new guidelines in place to keep them from being racist. Kansas City came into Sunday having never lost by more than eight points under Mahomes, and it fell by 22. #RunItBack #NFLBrasil pic.twitter.com/XWVjFa6I7M. CHIEEFS. It’s safer being around established rona patients than being around you shitstains. Nothing better symbolized how the three-time Pro Bowler felt on his own than a fourth-down incompletion to Darrel Williams in the fourth quarter. Brady found Gronkowski in the end zone on the next play for a touchdown. The Chiefs are trying to becomes the first repeat champions since the Patriots did it in 2003-04. Potential targets: Missouri S Tyree Gillespie, Cincinnati S James Wiggins, Indiana S Jamar Johnson. Cheffers’s crew actually led the league in flags thrown in 2020, averaging 16 per game. By Week 5 of the regular season, the team had already lost starting RG Laurent Duvernay-Tardif to opt-outs and starting LG Kelechi Osemele to knee injuries.In Week 6, RT Mitchell Schwartz tried to play through a back injury, but only worsened the situation, effectively ending his season. Boulevard Wheat sucks. You know they did. I learned to hate the Warriors and I can learn to hate you. Will we repeat? 6. Yea, we did it. The Thunder won their regular-season finale. Now that Patrick Mahomes is leading the … This team should be playing in, like, New Zealand. With less than a minute to go before intermission, the Buccaneers got the ball on their own 29-yard line. Maclin is on pace gain slightly more than 100 yards above what Dwyane Bowe had 2014, same number tds – zero – and Maclin will have needed 12 more catches/chances in order do so. But one series of pre-halftime plays on Sunday served as a microcosm for the Buccaneers’ 31-9 blowout victory over the Chiefs. But I do get a good laugh out of watching the Raytown and Independence white trash illustrate why they are still living in a mobile home and spending all their money on Natty Light and red body paint. 1. Your 2019 record: 12-4. Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY … The Chiefs didn’t have to beat Tom Brady or Lamar Jackson or Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers or Russell Wilson to win it all. Also, you barely beat the Lions, and the Colts beat the unholy piss out of you. This is so stupid. The Chiefs only committed three penalties in the second half to finish the game with 11 for 120 yards. Offensively bad. Tom Brady luxuriated for two decades in the absolute shittiest division in football. The Breeland pass interference was just bad luck. But why is Kansas City’s defensive unit so bad? But it's not exactly a lie, either. Brady converted the third down with a strike to Rob Gronkowski for 5 yards. For the past several seasons, the Kansas City Chiefs could do one thing well at a time. That much should’ve been obvious when I described their performance as "violent liquid diarrhea." As an official MLB owner, his first job will be to complain that the Royals are spending too much of his money. How the Kansas City Chiefs Got Their Name, and Why It’s so Controversial (CNN) — On an average NFL Sunday at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, one is bound to see some tomahawk chops. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together. These hogs were blessed, after a truly astonishing drought of quarterback misery, with one of the most talented and entertaining players I’ve ever witnessed. What was happening on 3rd down that led to so many missed plays? On the next play, Brady found Chris Godwin for an 8-yard gain, and the Chiefs called an even riskier timeout before third-and-2. Over 200,000 Americans will die by YE and we are running Pat out there to get in a cluster tackle and someone with C19 is going to cough on him. Patrick Mahomes is officially the only thing still tying me to being a fan of this team and their shitty ass inbred fans. Hip, woke registered Democrats who live in historically redlined south KC and gleefully post a BLM sign in their yards, but will quietly vote against any measures to integrate their lily-white schools. The Buccaneers started that drive with just one timeout, so the Chiefs’ decision to stop the clock twice gave the Tampa Bay offense all the breathing room it needed. Mahomes became the most pressured quarterback in the history of the Super Bowl, and the Chiefs usually stellar … Many of them aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer, but many are at least open and honest about our culture’s ills. Summer symphony in the park? He ended up netting just 35.7 yards on average on his three punts. He’s a bust and it’s his own personal failings that force us to call for cutting/trading him. Players opting out due to caution about the pandemic? The Chiefs have spent my entire life, and change, trying to draft their own franchise QB. The Chiefs are also operating without both starting CBs because Bashaud Breeland is suspended and because Charvarius Ward just busted his hand. Plan on going anywhere in Kansas City after the game? Then the rest of us would have been protected from that Sturgis rally of a crowd bleeding back into the population. The Chiefs' receivers did Mahomes few favors, too. Updated 2:15 PM ET, Sat February 1, 2020 . It was one of the worst results in franchise history. Kill the lazy bums and take them to court so you can recoup the cap space. Still, the tackling effort was one of the worst I have ever seen since becoming a Chiefs fan, which led to us getting mauled against a poor offensive line, and a rookie QB in his first start. To reach the ceiling that seemed so obvious a year ago when he brought the Chiefs back in the fourth quarter to win Super Bowl 54, he’s going to need luck and he’s going to need help. Came back from 10 or more points down in all three playoff games to win it all. Why Do the Rams Look Bad but the Chiefs Look Okay? The Chiefs exist to enact karmic vengeance upon a town and a fanbase that will remain forever oblivious as to why they so richly deserve such a fate. The Kansas City Chiefs are so bad that… Just before the Chiefs’ end-of-half blunder, another Bucs drive ended up in the end zone thanks to a combination of miscues and questionable flags. It’s a major testament to Mahomes that his team didn’t score a touchdown and he threw two picks in a blowout loss, and yet everyone who watched the game would agree that he remains an incredible NFL quarterback. Read these statements: A West Africa did not have developed iron ore deposits, or the technology for making guns. That’s when they’ll get to experience every bad thing that’s happened to the Saints over the past decade. Send a story tip to tips@defector.com. Fucking rubes. On October 6th, 2019, after the Chiefs had lost to the Jacoby Brissett-led Colts, I went to the ER with abdominal pain. He took them to a new country when they were asleep. The Chiefs are also operating without both starting CBs because Bashaud Breeland is suspended and because Charvarius Ward just busted his hand. The Chiefs didn’t have to do much offensively to defeat the Bills, 26-17. There was a high speed car chase along the Super Bowl parade route about an hour before it started in February. Why didn’t it happen the other way round? Bartle’s two four-year, mayoral terms ended in 1963. If the team doesn’t get some insurance in this draft class, they may be forced to invest in the position in free agency or the 2022 NFL draft. When we get to January, it’s not gonna be Bill O’Brien on the opposite sideline gifting Andy punts. By Leah Asmelash, CNN. High school basketball game? The ball went through his hands and hit him in the helmet: Even Kansas City’s punter, Tommy Townsend, got in the mix. Our downtown still leads the country in unused surface lots and highways per capita. I bet every single one of them is a landlord. NFL's Kansas City Chiefs, one of several American sports teams that copy Native American imagery and traditions, will take the field for Super Bowl LIV. "There's a very simple solution to this. Rather than letting them, though, the Chiefs called a timeout, hoping to force a quick defensive stop and get the ball back. Midway through the third quarter, a Mahomes pass intended for Hill got broken up by Bucs safety Mike Edwards, and the ball somehow found its way to Antoine Winfield Jr.: The Cincinnati kid Mike Edwards breaks up the pass for the interception on Patrick Mahomes. They shouldn’t be forced to play their trade in front of a bunch of burnt-end addicts all drooling rona into each other’s chili. Your coach: Andy Reid, shown here cutting out the middle man and wearing the Cici’s pizza buffet sneeze guard outright. This is Defector, a new sports blog and media company. Kansas City fans were so sick of heartbreaking playoff exits that they decided to sell their collective souls in a bid to win what might be the last Super Bowl ever. Was it missed chances, questionable officiating, or just being the lesser team that caused the Chiefs to miss out on back-to-back Super Bowl victories? You fucking sicken me. But when his wide receivers couldn’t make catches, his defense couldn’t stop the Bucs, and when the flags weren’t going Kansas City’s way, it was all but over. Through this, I have actually come to really respect the Raiders fanbase. And that, combined with Kansas City’s sloppiness, led to 90 penalty yards for the Chiefs in the second quarter alone—the most in a single quarter in Super Bowl history. But these weren’t the only mistakes that doomed Kansas City. The Chiefs were down 21-6 at halftime and then tried to play catch-up the rest of the way. Now the Chiefs are in desperate need of a score after half — Cody Tapp (@codybtapp) February 8, 2021. One of the biggest reasons the Bucs were able to do that, was because the Chiefs offensive line wasn’t healthy. For the past several seasons, the Kansas City Chiefs could do one thing well at a time. The Chiefs had too many self-inflicted wounds in a contest full of undisciplined moments. The Chiefs only committed three penalties in the second half to finish the game with 11 for 120 yards. Currently, the highest-paid left tackles in the NFL … What might not suck: Clyde Edwards-Helaire is on my keeper team. Then the entirety of 77,000 fans sang “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks and I wanted to scoop my eyeballs out of my head. My buddy’s recliner was snapped in half and my legs were bleeding because I tried to climb a light pole that had a rock texture on it. I ended up losing the kidney in April (surgery during a pandemic is interesting…), but I’m cancer-free, and my future looks bright! Now the Chiefs are in desperate need of a score after half — Cody Tapp (@codybtapp) February 8, 2021. OK, so that's not the full reason why Mexico is hosting Chiefs vs. Chargers on Monday night. Four plays later, the Chiefs forced a fourth down, and the Bucs went for a field goal. Offensive chemistry is imperative when forming a winning team, and the key to an offense’s chemistry is the quarterback. The Kansas City Chiefs’ defensive struggles. When they had an elite defense, the offense was inept. Turns out the Chiefs, who beat the Bucs here in Week 12 and were favored by 3½ points, just couldn’t do it again. Now that SOUNDS very impressive and heartwarming, but let’s note the teams those comebacks happened against: •A headless Texans outfit led by blithering shithead•A 9-7 Titans team that was no better than its record indicated•A Niners team coached by trust fund baby who still has no idea how to run the ball to put a game away. In the AFC, cupcake scheduling is handed down from one team to the next, like a precious heirloom. The question I set out to answer was WHY they were so bad. Yet no one will remember it in 20 years because it happened during the year of the Pandemic, of killer wasps, of George Floyd’s murder and of who knows what other untold horrors that have yet to unfold until the presidential election. (Disclosure: I am an editor at Triumph Books, the publisher of 100 Things Chiefs Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die.) Fuck Tyreek. to the south in the … Why did the West Africans give up their own people as slaves? If you asked them before the start of the playoffs if they could watch their team win the SB, but in exchange, the United States would be brought to its knees by a virus that pretty much every single other democratic country on Earth has managed to get under reasonable control, pretty much all of us would still take that trade. If you’re one of the twelve people who decides to be safe and not drive blackout drunk after the game, good luck getting your Uber to pick you up within three miles of the stadium. Even though the Chiefs finished 14-2, they haven’t felt nearly as dominant as they did during last year’s 12-4 campaign. None of these deficiencies will bite them in the ass until the divisional playoffs. Patrick Mahomes is a generational marvel but he’ll be throwing to the hot dog vendor in a couple years when his offensive weapons become free agents and the team can’t scrape enough change from the couch cushions to convince them to stick around. God I almost hope not. You deserve to go the same route the WFT did: fucking up year after year after year in a futile chase to restore glory that you never deserved to begin with. Don’t even glance at a cop car or you’ll get pepper-sprayed by an illiterate, aggro, sentient goatee in wraparound Oakleys. What’s new that sucks: Everyone got an extension. pic.twitter.com/2ul33OHVUh. I for one, welcome the bandwagon fans that should help dilute the garbage fanbase of this city. Fuck you, Chiefs, that was your fault. Your quarterback: Patrick Mahomes, who just signed a 45-year, multi-suite contract extension so intricate that somehow everyone involved got a raw deal out of it. Super Bowl Champions. The cupboard is stocked for years to come! Why you shouldn’t worry too much about the Chiefs after one bad game. (Disclosure: I am an editor at Triumph Books, the publisher of 100 Things Chiefs Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die.) Down 21-6 at the half, the Chiefs did not do an excellent job of capitalizing on mistakes, while the Buccaneers did. Just in case you aren’t sure, there are 32 teams in the NFL. Now that Patrick Mahomes is leading the offense, the defense can’t get off the field.
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